mexican cuisine sucks

"ptak appreciates old racecars" (racecarptak) 05/02/2017 at 01:16 • Filed to: None

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There. I said it

Vuhl 05 (Mexican track racer) for your time. Because I have no hard feelings towards Mexico at all. Aside from their food. Which I am too weak to consume

I’d make fun of American cuisine, but the fact is that all of it is just the stolen best parts of European cuisine, so it doesn’t really exist.

Polish food > all
WHERE MY PCZKI AT

Blondude > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:25

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tacos tho

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:25

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“B L A S P H E M Y” - a Colombian Opponaut who very much enjoys Mexican food

Current mood reading that:

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:26

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Some of the best parts of European cuisine is stolen Asian cuisine.

Baeromez > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:26

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1. Overcome palatial weakness

2. ????

3. Profit

Baeromez > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 05/02/2017 at 01:29

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Some of the best parts of Asian Cuisine is stolen Atlantean Cuisine.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 01:29

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“it’s an acquired taste”
how about. I just. don’t eat. [raw habaneros] or whatever

ptak appreciates old racecars > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 05/02/2017 at 01:30

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Very true.
Don’t dumplings come from China or thereabouts? And pierogi are basically dumplings.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 01:32

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TheHondaBro > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:32

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Wrong. The correct hierarchy is:

1) Iranian Food

2) Asian food

3) Mexican food

4) PNW seafood

5) German food

6) Barf with syphilis in it

7) Polish food

Fite me.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:37

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Barbeque would like a word with you.

Also, Taco Bell isn’t Mexican food.

Authentic Mexican cuisine is quite tasty.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro 05/02/2017 at 01:38

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Ok

1) Indian food

2) good home cookin

3) thai food

4) No.

.

.

.

99) Mexican food

100) Italian food

101) Denny’s

Sam > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:47

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Boooo.

Sam > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 05/02/2017 at 01:48

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Some of the best parts of Indian cuisine are British (-Indian) cuisine.

Baeromez > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 01:59

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It’s funny you should bring that up.

I recently had a whole, raw habenero; picked and eaten hand to mouth off a friend’s plant. All I could do for the next 10 minutes was drool and stare into the oncoming thundercloud, but I swear the first 15 seconds of chewing were a very pleasant fruity taste.

It was absolutely the hottest thing I’ve ever eaten, or ever plan to eat. Fuck ghost peppers. I was a little buzzed and kinda stoned when I ate this pepper, and as I stared into the gray, swirling, lightning-streaked stormhead, the humid spring air rolled into my lungs like tar.

I was advised to take swig of my Budweiser and the rich, citrus bloom was swept down my gullet as The-Burn-Above-All sailed into my mouth like a thousand viking burial ships on a tsunami of jet-fuel.

I stood transfixed as lightning danced across the late afternoon sky and felt my soul toy with the thought of fleeing it’s corporeal confines. I wouldn’t quite call it an out of body experience. My mind simply couldn’t understand that it was responsible for keeping such a stupid body alive in the face of this blatant treason. First-degree sensory hijacking.

The only recourse was to ride out the razing of my entire sino-oral intract with the small comfort of several shots of rum.

I lived, but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the experience.

AestheticsInMotion > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 02:01

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You’re all forgetting the greatest contribution mankind has made to the universe, Teriyaki.

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/02/2017 at 02:05

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YOU FORGOT CRAB MEAT.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 02:17

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Say that to our face punta!

Frank Grimes > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 02:19

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Did you see any coyotes that sounded like johnny cash?

RallyWrench > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 02:24

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Throwing an entire country’s food under the bus? Bold move, man.

Dusty Ventures > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 02:30

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My brother and I did this as well, though we were dumb enough to think it was a good idea while fully sober. My brother was hiccuping for the next half hour, and I absconded with a gallon of milk trying to keep my mouth from combusting into literal flames.

Nick Has an Exocet > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 02:33

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Man, I love just about everything. Over the last 4 years I’ve opened my tastes up quite a bit. 4 years ago I was questioning of anything that didn’t look like a burger. Since then, I’ve tried some downright weird stuff that turned out to be delicious.

I take it you can’t stomach Thai either? I don’t like fish very much but i recently found that there’s something about the piping hot heat of thai food smothers out most of the fermented fishiness.

Haggis. It’s chopped up sheeps lung, mixed with barley and oats, cooked in a sheep’s stomach. Traditional Scottish dish. It’s salty, mushy, and tastes kind of like brown gravy. It’s wonderful and can be used as a condiment. Venison burger with haggis and cheddar is delicious.

Wild game: Antelope breakfast sausages, various venison (highland stag is my favorite), pheasant, and a few others. I had venison carpaccio at restaurant in Wyoming and it blew my mind. I had no idea raw meat could taste like that. Live dangerously.

Tea leaf salad. This one is Burmese. It’s a chopped cabbage salad with some sauteed peanuts and other crunchy bits. The highlight is the dressing. They ferment tea leaves, add vinegar, and stir it into the salad. 1 salad = 8 cups of coffee worth of caffeine. Tastes like any old salad except the more you eat, the more you feel like you have an IV drip of 5 hour energy.

Good Indian. I’ve had some Indian food in many places now. Best 2 places have been Singapore and Glasgow. I can’t even begin to describe what I ate in Singapore. All I know is that it was probably 2000 calories. In Glasgow, I bet I doubled that at an Indian buffet. Lamb in the UK is so much cheaper than the US. It’s strange to go into a $10 buffet and find lamb everywhere.

Mexican hot chocolate. “Like with cinnamon in it?”. No, not exactly. How about cooked for HOURS with cinnamon and hot chilli’s?

Going beyond American and Cheddar. Turns out, there are some downright awesome cheeses out there. You don’t even have to get into the stinky stuff. Some amazing gouda’s, etc. I just bought a cheese that is kind of like a Parmesan but it’s rind is coated in espresso. Another was soaked in red wine.

Weird fruits. Quince - turns out that’s American. It’s kind of like an apple but you can’t eat it without cooking it for hours. It’s as hard as wood but once cooked, tastes like a magical pear. Rambutan - It looks like an 80s metal band designed their own fruit. They grow then in hawaii. Once you peel the wacky soft shell off, you eat the inside flesh (minus the seed) and it tastes like an extra fruity grape. Golden Kiwi (yum), Durian (run for the damn hills, that thing is vile), and asian pears to round it out.

Tofu - never would have touched that. Then I had it done a few ways that were good. If you think you don’t like it, try this: Get the extra first stuff. Slice it up into fry-shaped slices. Roll them in a mixture of 50/50 corn flour / regular flour, salt, and pepper. Place them on a greased cookie sheet, give them a spray on top of cooking oil. Oven bake the shit out of them and serve with BBQ sauce. Tofu fries. They’re epic.

Xiaolongbao - It’s a chinese soup dumpling. WTH? A dumpling, but with the soup on the inside. Good ones are magical.

BTW - I still eat a ton of pizza, chicken, veggies, and normal stuff but the last 4+ years has opened me up to the Bizzare Food mantra of If it looks good, eat it.

Baeromez > Frank Grimes 05/02/2017 at 02:35

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No, but I saw a porcupine that sounded like Gilbert Gottfried.

Baeromez > Dusty Ventures 05/02/2017 at 02:39

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You are very brave to attempt such a transaction sober.

I remember feeling my pulse in my cheeks and my forehead, and the lymph nodes in my neck pushing against my skin.

Make no mistake, it’s not vengeance the pepper’s after; it’s a reckoning.

Frank Grimes > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 02:44

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Did he have any good advice like space coyote?

Baeromez > Frank Grimes 05/02/2017 at 02:46

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He just kept saying “BALLSACK” at the top of his lungs.

AdverseMartyr > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 03:10

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I read this tale of woe, and I can find no empathy or compassion in my heart... you were drinking Budweiser... you deserve everything you received and more.

kanadanmajava1 > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 05:37

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I have couple of Mexican friends. They have never offered my any annoyingly spicy food. Some mildly spicy and really good food though.

So far I have seen exactly one Polish cuisine restaurant (which was in London) but countless Mexican ones. I have visited Poland, but I wasn’t served there with any proper Polish food.

So I cannot compared these with any other method but counting the number of the restaurants.

ptak appreciates old racecars > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 05/02/2017 at 06:01

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I MEANT TASTY

ptak appreciates old racecars > Baeromez 05/02/2017 at 06:03

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That was beautiful.

And only confirms my suspicions.

ptak appreciates old racecars > TheHondaBro 05/02/2017 at 06:04

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motherf

We use bread as soup bowls. Your argument is invalid.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Nick Has an Exocet 05/02/2017 at 06:07

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You’ve convinced me. My palate needs a drastic expansion, haha

The most exotic stuff I eat tends to be my grandmother’s middle eastern cooking. That and I’m vegetarian so my options are slightly more limited (no regrets there tho).

I really want to try that tea leaf salad now though.

LongbowMkII > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 06:45

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saying you don’t like Mexican food is just saying you don’t like food.

Churros>paczki

Rainbow > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 07:29

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Tex-Mex is bad, but I recently had a Mexican friend tell me that the way I eat my burritos is actually more authentic than what we think is standard. I just take them with ground beef, rice, cheese, and hot sauce. No veggies (I’ll eat those separately).

haveacarortwoorthree2 > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 08:36

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This is a bad take. There are multiple different regional types of “Mexican cuisine,” and a lot of it isn’t spicy. Some great seafood, a lot of the mole dishes are not spicy at all (but some are, depending on the region), wonderful soups and stews, etc. Try more, you’ll love it!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 08:41

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So does Panera bread. You’re not special

brianbrannon > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 05/02/2017 at 08:56

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Punta means point or tip, BTW...

Textured Soy Protein > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 09:00

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You said you are a vegetarian, what about one of these hippie veggiefied tacos like butternut squash, black bean, cabbage and guac?

Purty.

DipodomysDeserti > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 09:23

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There’s lots of different types of American cuisine. It offers a much wider variety of dishes than Polish food on account of the diversity of cultures and landscapes found in Mexico. Here’s some dishes from my favorite Mexican restaurant.

I was at a Polish-Mexican wedding a few months ago with Polish and Mexican food. Even the Poles were grabbing the Mexican dishes over the Polish food.

wiffleballtony > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 11:08

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WiscoProud > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 11:13

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I grew up a very picky eater with no ability to handle heat. Then in college I started expanding my palate, and will eat near anything these days. Not saying I’ll like it, but I’ll try it. Last fall I had Kimchi, which is Korean fermented cabbage, and surprisingly liked it.

Any nationality can have bad food, but every nationality has some delicious food as well.

At present, about the only broad category of food I don’t like is Americanized Chinese (General Tsao, stir fry, etc.). Its just bland. But authentic Chinese, like dim sum, is fantastic.

just-a-scratch > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 12:50

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Soup bowls constructed of bread are inferior to burritos. No other equipment is required to eat a burrito.

There; a perfect refutation. You may now keep your borscht hole closed such that your ignorance of great food is not more widely known.

j/k There is a lot of excellent Polish food out there too.

Vicente Esteve > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 13:19

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Hahahahaha yeah, no.

Vicente Esteve > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 05/02/2017 at 13:22

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Care to elaborate, Im actually interested in this.

t0ast > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 14:15

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As someone of Czech descent who thoroughly enjoys Mexican food, I feel obligated to assert that Koláe > Pczki in retaliation for this slight.

CaptDale - is secretly British > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 14:27

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That is a shame. I grew up trying everything! And I haven’t found a single food I don’t enjoy eating. What was really surprising was how good Ethiopian food is. I love it! It is very similar to Indian, but not at the same time.

Nick Has an Exocet > ptak appreciates old racecars 05/02/2017 at 14:54

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Hah, you can do it! There’s actually vegetarian haggis (the only kind allowable in the US anyways) and it’s pretty good. I’ve adopted a “when in Rome” mentality towards food.

jkm7680 > TheHondaBro 05/02/2017 at 19:05

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Kebabs and shit are great, but I don’t really like any other Iranian food.

PNW food is the same as #6, so I’ll just lump them into one.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 05/02/2017 at 20:06

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whoawhoahohaowhaohowahaohawoao

ptak appreciates old racecars > t0ast 05/02/2017 at 20:07

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This is valid.

Baeromez > AdverseMartyr 05/02/2017 at 23:38

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Oh please bestoweth Thy mercy upon mine undeserving, heathen palate Great Lord of the Brew.